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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The little things

Jake rarely sleeps on his own, so I tried not to disturb him as he napped quietly in his Boppy. But I just couldn't stay away any longer. I slowly lied down next to him, face to face with my two-month-old baby boy.
I put my nose up to his cheek, basking in the feel of his soft skin and his heavenly smell. The scent of his baby lotion faintly lingered from his bath the night before, and with each exhale, I caught the sweet smell of his baby breath. It was intoxicating. I closed my eyes as I breathed him in, then pulled my head back a few inches -- just enough to clearly see the little details of his face.

His big blue eyes were closed, and gently fluttered as he dreamed. I looked at his beautiful eyelashes-- long and with the perfect curl, like my brothers'. I gave those to him, though I don't have them myself. There is hope for our gene pool yet, I thought. I turned to his cute button nose. Some say it looks like Matt's, while others see more of my family. I've seen both sides, but on this night, I decided his nose looked more like mine. Time will tell. His ears, on the other hand? I have no idea whose they are, but they are perfect. I hadn't paid much attention to ears until I saw his. And now his cute little ears are in my direct line of sight a dozen times a day when Jake nurses. I never knew an ear could be so endearing. My gaze then moved to his cheeks. Oh, those cheeks! They get a little bit chubbier and more scrumptious every day. I find it difficult to keep my lips away from them.

Finally, my eyes rested on his lips--so soft and full and moist, with those cute tiny lines. I loved seeing his perfectly pursed lips on our weekly 3D ultrasounds during my final months of pregnancy. I was sure he'd inherited his daddy's lips. I was right. And now, I smiled as I stared at those sweet little lips. The ones that grin up at me throughout the day, and at his daddy the second Matt walks in his door. The lips that just hours before had mustered up the most convincing pout to let me know he was hungry (again). Those lips that coo at us more and more, and will someday say my name -- Mama. I began to daydream about that day as I looked at my son, who had already grown so much in his first two months. And then, Jake smiled.

My heart soared and I couldn't take the separation anymore. I lifted my hand and gently stroked his cheek, then leaned in to give him a little kiss as he slept. "I love you, Jake," I whispered. "I love you, my sweet boy."

And he smiled again.
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